If you are once again looking at your life and wondering why you can’t make the changes that you really want, the key is to look beneath the surface. Most of us will find a secret saboteur lurking there. The saboteur is never evil, just scared. Curiosity and Love are the two attitudes that will help you convert the saboteur into an ally.
Wondering why you’re always so angry and no amount of resolving makes you control yourself? Chances are there has been some injury to you that you have not fully resolved. You may think you have because whatever happened was a long time ago, and besides you forgave whoever did it. But there are layers to forgiveness and until you face and express the feelings that got buried back then, you can’t get free.
Maybe you are not the angry type. You may struggle with depression or anxiety instead. Or maybe you numb out through one or more addictions. The same advice applies. If you are struggling with something that persists longer or seems more than what a situation warrants, you probably are dealing with something buried and it will be to your advantage to get acquainted with your saboteur.
What kind of injuries are buried? For one in four girls, one in six boys, the statistics say it’s sexual abuse. For many others it’s physical or emotional abuse. For others it’s neglect. These are serious injuries and they have far reaching negative effects but you can heal from those traumas, if you are willing to face what happened with courage and learn a new way to treat yourself. For other people, the injuries were not so dire but they still hurt and they still left scars. The good news is that you can relatively easily heal the scarred thought process if you are willing to explore with tenderness and persistence.
If you suspect or know that you have been abused, don’t tell yourself it’s all in the past because it’s not. Seek the help of a seasoned professional. I particularly recommend hypnotherapy because I have seen profound healing repeatedly using that modality. Even if you haven’t been abused, if your behavior is causing you problems, get some help and make the liberating connection with your secret saboteur.